Weirdy beardies.

I'v decided I don't like my beard.


I'm going to shave it off tonight.



Turns out in a country famous for it's blags I end up blagged by a guy from Wokingham! 10 whisky and cokes charged to my room! It's okay though... I'm certain I'll bump into him again and I'll get my cash back! Either that or I'll just constantly bombard him with emails until he submits! Richard Sharples watch your back... :)

That's it... My next post will be from Saigon! Laters.

Beardy Weirdy

I have a bushy beard... Well, it's kinda patchy, but it's blonde.

Umm...

Fruity loops.

There's a five day bank holiday here in Cambodia starting today because the king is abdicating and his son is being crowned or whatever. It's a bit of a funny situation because the Prince Regent doesn't speak Cambodian and has spent the last few years being the choreographer of a gay dance troupe in Paris. Apparently he doesn't want to be king, I guess he'd rather be flouncing around somewhere, but talk like that is enough to get you in trouble around here.


The last few days have been breaking me slowly bit by bit. Living in a bar is dangerous stuff, I'm going to book my bus ticket today for Sunday and get out of dodge. I'm looking forward to Vietnam, maybe some cleanish streets there, considering it's a communist hell hole. Also looking forwardto some sensible banking arangements there too.


Experienced the Cambodian version of the full moon party, which was very relaxed, spent the evening listening to the avalanches, Massive attack and Jack Johnson, whilst drinking $1 white Russians and eating nice free vegetable curry. As a result of mistaken identity with a few slices of pizza I'm feeling a little dazed today, but that seems normal here. No one at my guesthouse/bar thing ever goes out or anything they just slump on these big sofas watching Bond movies. Well, when I say movies I mean Moonraker. I've been there four days and it's been on three times.


M: My God, what's Bond doing?
Q: I think he's attempting re-entry, sir.

Still in the 'bodia.

I'm spending a few days in Sianoukville a dodgy seaside resort that resembles a spaghetti western town. It seems that nothing is illegal here, which, while liberating is also slightly disconcerting. The beach is full of kids trying to sell fruit and weed, I reckon if nothing else they'll make fantastic salespeople in a few years... Most of them speak three languages and haven't even been to school.

Pretty much all the beachfront bars will 'happy' up you food for you, for 1 dollar which, although tempting, I think my food will be happy enough without a fistful ofdirty brown weed thrown on top of it. Much more sensible to stick tothe not so happy Lao beer and a few mojitos of an evening.

Changed guesthouses today cos I counted 23 cockroaches in the last room. It all looked okay till I closed the door and there they all were sitting on the back of it. I wouldn't mind but they're so sneaky, not moving til they think you're not looking. I closed the door and opened it again and they were all gone! Where??!

Staying above a bar owned by a Man from Basingstoke, they have cheap milkshakes and a huge dvd collection and the rooms are only $3 a night, so it seems like a cool place to wait until I can use my Vietnam Visa on November 1st.

I probably should have some deep and insightful things to say about Cambodia, but they'll have to wait until another time.


Live long and prosper.

Goodbye yellow brick road...

My time here at Siem Reap and Angkor Wat has come to an end. Tomorrow I catch the air con (!) bus to Phnom Phen before buggering off to another beach resort on the South coast. Maybe it will be like Bournemouth? I doubt it.

Spent the day with some Buddhist monks yesterday after one of the guys from the guesthouse was invited at Angkor Wat. The monks are all desperate to practice their english, so it was cool chatting to them all. I got an insight into the monastical life and I have to say that underneath the saffron they're just young dudes with all the same interest as any other young dude. Unfortunatley they can't get any. Which means their lives in that respect are exactly the same as most other late teens.

Saw some ruins underneath a waterfall today and some really weird insects and a deadly snake, which some Cambodian guy was kicking around with only his flip flops on... I'm not sure why, maybe just to get him all riled up for the Israeli tourists coming along behind us...

I'm still pretty blown away by what I've seen here, so I can't be really descriptive, plus the Malaria tablets I'm taking make you burn easier in the sun, and now I'm red as a beetroot and have to go and take a cold shower or something. Which is lucky cos that's the only kind of shower you get. However, quick list form so's I remember:

Sandy streets.
Five up on mopeds.
Rotting fish.
People for whom tourists are still a bit of a novelty, who are really friendly.
Angkor beer.
Beer Lao.
No rules of the road.
Come to think of it, no road.
"the australian".
"the columbians".
dirty brown weeds.
dirty brown weed.
The fact that the little girls selling icy water and cokes are the first people that have ever called me "sir", so when they shout out to me I honestly don't think they're talking to me.

Cryptic, huh? probably not.

Angkor What?

Angkor Wat pretty much sums up the human race so far. King builds huge empire, including works of beautiful art and staggering engineering skills, then another king who was supposedly looking after it fucks it up and now it's ruins. Except this time the jungle hid the ruins for ages, in some cases by growing right on top of buildings and walls.

The Temples that are complete are beautiful works of art and testemant to how far people will go for something they have faith in.

The temples that are covered in well, basically, giant Trees are somehow even more impressive to me. Maybe because it's a good reminder that no matter how important you think you are long after we're all gone the world will still be here.

sorry...

Man, we in cambodia now... Sheeeit!

Crossing the border into Cambodia was like entering Barter town from Mad max or maybe even Mos eisley. People with no legs riding around on bikes you pedal and steer with your hands. Wierd motorcycle contraptions with seasts on the side. Beggars naked kids, naked kid beggars... It was kinda dark.

The 'official' money changer was an inscrutable sweating middle aged asian guy sitting in a darkened room behind a glass case full of various notes of different currencies and denominations. He had slicked hair and a pencil moustache, and - I swear - An eye patch.

They tried to scam us on the bus, and the road was so bad to Siem Reap thet a 145km bus journey took 7hours! I guess we aint in Kansas any more toto!

But... Staying in a cool guest house with it's own croc farm and I have my own driver at $6 a day to take me around the temples, so life is still good!

Holiday in Cambodia...

Good morning class, I'm waiting for my bus from Bangkok to Siem Reap in Cambodia, I'm looking forward to it, but also a little nervous. I have finally (with a little coaching) startedtobe able to ignore the various taxi drivers, Tuk tuk drivers and general hawkers and blaggers who constantly try and get your attention. I'm very proud of myself! :)

It's primary school PE all over again...

Went night swimming in my pants last night cos the sea was full of that phosporesense stuff. It was absolutley mental, the stuff looks just like stars and it's like you're creating galaxies and stuff with your hands. Did absolutley nothing for my God complex.

Had School of rock on the way down in the bus and on the way back. Met some Irish people who have been here just over a week and seen it 5 times on buses... Hammer of the Gods.

It was Thai half term last week so spent a nice afternoon drinking vodka and limes in the sea with some students.

Simple things...

The last few days I have been enjoying:

• lovely weather.
• the sea lapping at my toes.
• Having a bungalow from which the view is only sea. Unless I crane my head round really far.
• The fact that it's less than 3 quid a night.
• lying in the sea yesterday while a cafe blared out the pixies' album doolittle from beginning to end.
• Banana shakes.
• Watermelon shakes.
• Lime shakes.
• Thai whisky in a bucket with a can of coke and a can of red bull.
• The fact that I'm going brown.

I have not been enjoying:

• Sunburn
• Hangovers
• Giant red wasp things that hang around with menace
• Mosquitos... thousands of 'em

There are cute cats and dogs that live in the bars and lots of smiling people everywhere. This is where the Thais go on holiday so theprices aren't that bad and theplace is quite quiet. No go go clubsor anything.

On Tuesday I leave and go back to Bangkok... Which I'm not happy about. And get a bus to Cambodia for a week or so to see Angor Wat.

bye.

Shatner...

http://www.nme.com/features/110018.htm

Link donated by the MZA foundation for musical depreciation...

Hello Boston.

Just arrived on the Khao san road, full of tourists like me. Hooray! ;)

Ben and Alex thank you so much for letting me stay at your apartment in Tokyo. It was real! Tokyo is a messed up place and I couldn't have asked for better guides!! :)

Staying here two nights then going to Ko Chang for a week of sunshine, waves and fruit salad.

thankyouverymuch...

No evacuation in three days...

Anyone who has any tips... please leave a message. Feeling all bloated... Yuk.

Fish, plankton, sea greens... protein from the sea!

Last night I went to a FourTet gig on the 52nd story of the Roppongi hills, a massive skyscraper, strange concert, no booze, nobody smoking , but I really enjoyed it. It was organised by Onedotzero who do club visuals and dvds I think. There were two massive screens showing weird campy 6o's psychedelic effects, and Fourtet hidded somewhere at the front behind his laptop. It was all very strange and Logan's run-ish all these people standing in this clean white space watching kinda lava lamp images listening to digital noise and glitches and stuff. Especially when I looked round behind me and saw the whole of Tokyo streched out in the night-time... very cinematic.


laters.

gaters.